Brief Synopsis of the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards

If you were living under a rock or just do not care anymore, the MTV Video Music Awards were on last night. I watch them every year and once the ending credits pop up I question why I continue to watch it. I guess for me it's to get a good laugh and I also live tweet my thoughts on the show (not that anyone would really care), but I'm not sure if it is just me or if my music snobbery is growing, but the music represented and performances seem to get worse each year.

Before I get to that, can we talk about what the hell the presenters were wearing? Like, who looked at these wacky ass space outfits in the dressing room and said "Brilliant! Never looked better!" I mean of course some artists are going to dress in weird things to get people talking, but basically everyone was decorated for Halloween. Daft Punk were the only two that get a pass because they've always had that look and I'm pretty sure they had mics set up in their helmets and just talked shit on every one there. Can someone confirm?

So the night opened up with Lady Gaga, who started it out with her bizarre style, but honestly it was quite timid for her. Remember, she wore an outfit of meat before, so these outfit changes were not that big a deal. However, can we talk about her body!? She wore a seashell thong assemble to shut anyone up who were saying she was out of shape. It was all the talk on Twitter and had Kevin Hart yammering on about her "Yams." One thing I always give her credit for, is she can actually sing.

Really though, the whole night was about Justin Timberlake who had like a 16 minute performance of all his hits and then was awarded after for generally being a cool dude. He won some other awards as well.The guy has tremendous talent and put Robin Thicke's previous performance to shame. Hell, JT even pulled the other members of N'Sync on stage for a song, even though they seemed more like his back up dancers (as usual). Yet, lets rewind to Thicke's performance, which started off with Miley Cyrus. Sigh. I don't know where to begin with that girl, but the whole "I'm-not-Hannah-Montana-I'm-a-hoebag" look and act is getting really old. We get it Miley, you aren't 14 anymore. She made sure to stick her tongue out, grind, grab her crotch, and shock Will Smith's family (See below pic, hilarious). She also made sure to "twerk" all over Robin Thicke and make suggestive faces. Hey Billy Ray, your daughter isn't being sexy, she's acting like a porn star. After Thicke sang, 2 Chainz aka the janitor of rap and Kendrick Lamar came out to spit some bars.

One Direction won some award, which they can thank all their 15 year old fans who were the only ones who gave a shit to text and vote. Honestly, I've heard a few songs by them and the one that won for the Summer song I had never heard. All the other songs in that category deserved to win, but this is MTV, it doesn't make much sense anymore. Besides Timberlike, Bruno Mars sang pretty well and again, not my type of music but much respect to him. Then there is Kanye, who made his big return to performing. It was pretty cool the design and set up, as his shadow was seen against a woods backdrop, but for Kanye it was kind of weak. Drake also wasn't bad, he kept it pretty simple as it was just him up on stage doing his thing. Macklemore took a few awards, which is huge for independent artists and respect to him for that. He also performed, which wasn't bad either, but it wasn't anything that made me go "Wow." Then there was Katy Perry's mediocre new single and performance that ended the show and I will say, when muted, she is fun to watch.

Overall, the show was underwhelming and really shouldn't come as a shock at the value of music represented. There were plenty of noticeable absences this year, but it wouldn't of helped anything even if they were there. And something that I noticed, there were no acts that really played instruments, meaning rock or alt music. We Listen for You music blog had a comment about having a "real" music award show and suggested a publication step up. I couldn't agree more.


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